God & I

God & I and how we ended up together...

I grew up in a small Indiana family, with parents who loved me.  I was introduced to church a few times, but with unbelieving parents, I was not raised to know God, love God, or to seek God.

When I entered the freedom stage of my life, I chose carelessly what I did with my time and relationships.  I decided to be an enemy of authority and do what I perceived was best for me all of the time.  

I quickly turned into a heavy drinker, drug user, and thief.  I lied almost every time I spoke.  I didn't understand real communication, consequences, or spiritual death.  I only cared about myself.  

I was never the girl who fit in quickly, or was accepted.  I longed to be apart of something, a group, a click, something where I was somebody.  I started getting involved with Wicca as a form of religion.  I liked feeling worthy and soon decided that I would "believe" God was not real but rather there are many gods and they all are intertwined with me in everything I do for my benefit.

I brought this mentality into my marriage and luckily we survived our first year.

On July 19th, 2001, I had an experience that can only be explained as God pursing me.  He told and showed over and over again that He was indeed real.

I feel into deep repentance for what I had done in my life; for Him being real had changed everything.  Him being real meant I was wrong in all my beliefs, and not only had I been against Him, but I had caused lots of pain for those who knew me.

He continued to bring me to salvation.  He was very gracious and sweet.

I have never questioned again the reality of the existence of God and His inherent Word.  I am thankful that He sought me out when I had no intention of seeking Him; and saving me when I was oblivious to the fact I needed a rescue.

I have learned that salvation is not about saying a prayer, or inviting Jesus into your heart.  It really is an invitation; and as God knows you best, He knows exactly how to invite you.  

It is more of living every moment for someone other then yourself, and while doing so, you do it to the glory of the Lord.  It's about loving when its hard and not expected, and loving when no one else does.  Its about being different then the majority of the world and choosing Christ and nothing else all the time; not out of labor but out of devotion to a friend that has more to offer you willingly, then you ever will have to offer Him. 

Because I have loved Him back, I am worthy & accepted...  the same offer extends to you.

Psalm 91:14-16
 Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; 
 I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  
 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him. 
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”