Sunday, June 12, 2011

My Yahweh

My Yahweh,

Lord, I begin with a pause of how magnificent you are.

My doubting heart is unworthy of the good work you continue to do through my wretched body.  I praise you for your mercy and great grace that abides in me even while I walk idly without my eyes on you.  You take me from glory to glory as You keep revealing Yourself to me in ways that are defined in myself as miraculous.  You are holy and good, I trust you and love you so very much.  Nothing can separate your love for me.  My willingness to give my whole life to You is in process.  Your generosity is always abundant and your timing is divinely perfect.  There is no one like You.

The complexity of my life does not overwhelm You or make You anxious.  Your righteous anger burns against those that pain me and the sin of this world will be crushed by your great love for me.  Thank you Lord that I have you.  Without you I am destined for death, my spirit would have no freedom or expression of life.  I would drown while dying of thirst, full of the world but starving to death.  I am thankful that loneliness will never envelope me and the needs of my life will always be met.  For You own all things and I am precious because you say so.  You give me quality and value, because of the revelation of You, I belong to the One who never dies, always wins, and owns it all!

The sin of others against me has brought me to the shaving of my head and tearing of my clothes.  My mind has introduced lies and destruction; holding out the bait in hopes that I will feast on it for awhile.  The enemy peers around my shoulders looking me square in the eye in anticipation that I will accept his torment and be rebellious.  The fingers of sin reach out to me and twirl my hair and stroke my face as to make me feel pitiful.  The thoughts that linger in my mind are vivid & horrific; they entice me to view vile things that make sin look like a luxury.  I have been on the brink of death, robbed relentlessly, and shadowed with destruction from the onset of what another person has done against me.  This work of the enemy never ceases.

I cry out to you o Lord, my faithful friend who never fails me.  You never lie, You never steal, You never leave!  You embrace my head with Your anointing and cast evil far away from my sight.  You claim what has been stolen and return it to me with full favor.  Your protection sets guard around my every side and is watchful & full of strength.  Your vengeance against sin is swift and fierce!  Who can stand against You?  As the wind continues to blow and I remain in breath, I am reminded that You are all around me.  I consume You as I continue to live and you flow in and out of my vessel as a powerful energy.  I never have to be anguish if I remain in You.  Trusting You comes near and far to me; but You prove Yourself every moment that life without You is agony.  As the enemy sneaks around me at night waiting for a time to penetrate my restful thoughts; You are standing over me geared for war.  Armies walk with me in position due to Your command.  You enrich my life even when I am attacked on all sides.  In You, I always survive & become victorious.

Your timing is perfect and Your Spirit is overwhelming.  His presence is too much to bear.  It makes me overjoyed with love & laughter and also brings my face low to the earth in shame & humility. His function in my life keeps me aligned with you, how generous You are for your sacrifice and then for Your great gift of Yourself who convicts me and keeps me safe.  Because of Your great Spirit I can be blameless even while sin creeps around my feet.  I am grateful that another persons sin against You does not define me and in You I am a creation of my own.  You are a gentleman and lover of my soul.  You approach me in ways that honor me and prepare my heart of times of hardness.  You are gentle and me exactly what I need in a way that I will receive it best.  You have produced fruit in me that is genuine and sweet.  Long suffering is attached to the fibers of my creation; and I am allowed to stand close to You as Your will unfolds.  I sit on the sidelines and watch You do great work and although this fruit causes me pain; I never look for You and not see You.  I never call Your name and You don't respond.  I never go through any pain where You don't use it for the advancement of Your Kingdom!

With everything,
Your Amy

This week I watched sin bring a brother in Christ to the brink of utter destruction, I watched the Lord take his heart and soften it, preparing it for a moment.  When the time came, the Lord rushed upon him and laid him bare.  His sins where revealed and humility set in.  When repentance to the Lord was upon this mans lips the Spirit claimed his wasted life and gave him a glimpse of what he can be in Him.  Praise God for renewal and victory!  God is never late!  God is always good!  God is just in everything He chooses to do!  Anger at God is never righteous!  God loves you!