Thursday, March 10, 2011

What you don't know!!

My last post at 11 days past my transfer left me at a traumatic evening of red blood and lost hope.  I am so thankful to all my friends that have been moved to pray for me and my family.

Here is the reveal of what you don't know:

....after the bleeding on Monday night, I called the nurse and she suggested that I take a HCG on Tuesday morning.  That night nobody rested well and early on Tuesday I took a urine test first thing.  At this point, I figured...what does it matter?  Instantly there was a faint second line.  My blood test came back at a 56...we were pregnant!  BUT, for a person like me that doesn't bring much joy or celebration...its a fear in the back of your throat that says, "ok, here we go...again."  Scary to feel anything, to get attached to the idea or the baby. 

Wednesday brought more red & brown blood.. slight cramping and just an uneasy feeling in my gut.  I spent alot of time praying for our baby but mostly for my friends who are still waiting to test...I knew that if things were declining for us, hopefully the other girls would proceed on with their dreams of babies.  Our HCG number had to double within 48 hours in order to be a viable pregnancy..although this is a debated statement in the medical field, it is however the average.

Today was our 2nd beta...we had it drawn very early hoping to hear results quickly but didn't find out our #'s til late in the day...the stress of waiting was so hard on us mentally.  I cant believe how quickly you can get your feathers ruffled when waiting for confirmation.  We are happy and hesitate to announce a 124 result today.. Our doubling time is just over 41 hours.  We wanted to share with you so badly because I know many of you are watching and waiting, some have followed me since I began this journey years and years ago.  On the other hand we wanted to wait to say anything due to the fact that in 12 yrs we have lost 7 children before 8 weeks of pregnancy.  Today we are considered 4 wks and 3 days...and have a long way to go. 

I hope that you continue to pray for us and for our babies...and please pray for the girls that are still waiting to confirm pregnancy...there are so many of us out there and we need to lift each other up.  We all need it so badly!  One thing for sure is that we are not alone.  I got on Faith N Fertility (facebook) tonight and was so taken aback by all the love and support that ladies are giving as a infertility community.  I am proud to watch girls pour out on each other with prayer and comfort!  Way to go girls!!

Prayer requests:
**Logan (the same Jesus that raised people from the dead is doing a mighty work in this girl)
**My private FnF girls who are struggling tonight from negative tests...for Joy to come quickly
**For Faith N Fertility to reach hurting women everywhere and bring them into a family and friendship who understands their struggles
**For my family to be blessed and for this to be the time that was promised to us..

Love you all!!  I pray for God's bountiful favor to be with you!