Monday, February 14, 2011

4 lbs and a bunch of follies

We arrived in St Louis yesterday afternoon after a 5 hr drive straight here.  On the road we made great time regardless of the large pop from Mcdonalds that exploded in our laps driving down HW69... I apparently put it in a broken cup holder that pierced the side of the cup and stayed intact til I was dying of thirst and picked it up.  Before I could take one sip we had managed to pass it back and forth until we clumsily threw it out the window onto the interstate.  I protest against littering but this was an emergency!  Needless to say I sucked it up and drove all the way to Missouri with a litter of Coca Cola in between my legs and drowning my purse, cell phone, and ipod :)  Ohhh Memories!

We checked into our previously scoped out room...good ol #110 but then soon saw that 110 stunk.  Literally!  It was a mess...dirty room, carpet, bathroom, ants, cigarette burns in the blankets, Logan about cried :)  ...I reminded her that little kids lay in dirty conditions all over the world but we still decided to humbly ask to see another room.  We are now settled in a bit better room, for our rates we cant complain too much.  It feels somewhat like home with Logan's candles and all our goods from Indiana.  We brought enough food to make some meals, blankies that smell like home, and a dvd player to rent movies.  We don't however have our strapping handsome husbands on Valentines Day like so many other women...starting to really miss Chad and the kids.

This morning we woke up for an early appt with Dr Simckes at 8am, we were very rushed as we didn't sleep well and was rushing ourselves doing injections and hair.  Its nice going to the clinic and seeing the other girls there.  In the last 2 visits we have met 6 of the other couples who are going through ivf this month.  There are a total of 17 families this month.  One couple is occupying the room next to us, Laura and her husband.  He is a pastor and they have made friends with us, we hope to have dinner with them tomorrow.

Being with Faith N Fertility (our support group on facebook) has allowed me to hook up with other past, present, and future patients of Dr Simckes.  Friday a group of 7 of us from the group are eating pizza and sharing stories during a planned girls night.  I cant help but think that God is purposely putting into my life these people, without this ivf escapade I would of never been introduced to them.  It amazes me how intricate God designs every relationship in my life.

Today's appt went very well, because Chad and Dave are absent, Logan & I sat in on each others appts.  Logan was first with great results and nice follicles.  My ultrasound was good also, showing around 25 maturing follicles with the largest being around 10mm.  On the 8th I traveled here for an ultrasound and saw a large follie of 13mm which has since dissolved.  I was so grateful, seeing as it was ahead of the "gang" we most likely would of had to drain it but as of now he has left the building and we are all in sync once again.

Doc talked today about the effects of laughing and joy on your spirit, and how "clowning around" can affect ivf and everything else in your life.  I think that's why I love him so much.  As I looked at him across the room and listened to his stories...he just blows my mind.  Everytime I go in there I want so badly to have his "time", every doctor I have ever seen rushes to move to the next patient and makes me feel like I am not suitable for conversation.  Just today he spent an hour with Logan and I, not talking ivf and babies but sharing with us... We have became friends.  He truly cares and only because its not hard for him. We are not some burden with a bank account or a statistic in his agenda, we are here for his care and he takes it seriously but cant help but be personable and makes us laugh.  He understands that a person needs communication and empathy, he also sees that ivf is emotional and none of us would be here by choice but because of pain we all gather to the point.  With him as the guide, underneath the leading of God, I will trust him.  I don't intentionally advertise for him but it comes naturally when someone has treated you above the rest.  I seriously think he is just that way with everyone.  Reguardless today when he left the room, my heart was happy, my draw was dropped from the relationship he is building with me, and most importantly I felt strong with hope.  He gives big hugs and leaves me feeling like he cares about me having a baby as much as Chad & I.

Doc used the words "perfect" today when he talked about the way things look.  I agree...I feel good!  I am having some strong ovulation cramps throughout the day..mostly in the evening.  I whine a little but think its a good indicator that the gonal-f is maturing my follicles and preparing me for motherhood.  I gained 4 lbs since the 8th, answers the questions as to why I felt kinda bloated lately.  Other then that I am so good, I have a thick peace all over if there is no other place I should be.  As much as I miss home and my family, I know that I am here to retrieve my children and bring them home.  Notice I said "them" we are praying for twins. Why not...right!

Things I learned today:
Dr Simckes loves Anthony Hamilton music :)
2 girls living in a hotel room quickly turns into somewhat that resembles a pig sty
Logan loves to shop!!!
I suck at shopping :)
Valentines Day is more then flowers
Metformin meds help you with constipation
Fancy coffee makes are well worth the money

Thanks for following me on my journey.  This is such a big time in our lives...please pray for our cycle but also for my Chad, Tanner, and Ilana, they really miss mommy.

Joshua 1:9 was given to me before I left by a sweet friend...Be Strong! Dont be frightened! Dont be dismayed! God is with you WHEREVER you go!