Friday, December 3, 2010

Do you deserve this bed?

Sometimes I wonder what all I take for granted...how many of the things around me I feel is situated there because of something I have done on my own. 

I laid awake last night when the question came to me..."Do you deserve this bed?"  I thought about how good it felt to lay down and be comfortable, and answered with a proud, "yes, I deserve it because God says He will give me rest...so yea, I think I do." 

Quickly I heard a response question asking me, "Do you think you are better then those that love God and don't get a soft place to rest?"  My answer was a bit more humble and I thought, "no...I know that I am no better, maybe worse."

Question:  "Then what makes you think your rest is deserved to be better then others?"

Ugh!!  Don't you hate it when you are convicted of your internal sicknesses! 

Yesterday I spoke with a dear friend about loving her husband through all circumstances and training herself to not say aloud the criticisms she would like to say to him.  Shortly after, I was demeaning to my own husband in such a way that was cruel and detestable.  How quickly I remembered that conversation as I lay awake last night, letting the bitterness between him and I go down with the sun.

I deserve very little, if anything.  When your eyes are open to the nasty world of "entitlement" and you see it for what it is, you realize that the only reason you have anything is because of grace from God.

I don't deserve a soft bed while others lay on dirt floors, prison cells, or in coldness.
I don't deserve a steady upright husband while others deal with daily beatings, deception, and abuse
I don't deserve 2 healthy children as many women will never feel life inside of them and hear the words, "mommy."
I don't deserve a growing church family, a checking account, friends, family, and the holiday celebrations.
I don't deserve cold milk in the fridge, or canned food...

My point is that I am completely aware today that I am nothing without God, I am only something because He says I am His.  I have all I need because his great mercy throws it down upon us all.  Without Him, we have nothing.  Entitlement is an enemy and a lier to all of us.  We are entitled to nothing, just spared because He loves us.