Friday, November 5, 2010

I see my baby sister...

Yesterday as I was driving with Ilana to a friends house for a play date, she surprised me once again by saying something that tugged at my heart.  We were cruising along and suddenly she exclaims with her pointed finger up to the sky, "I see my baby sister!"  I looked back and saw her seriousness and knew right away it wasn't going to be a conversation I could distract her from.  The sky was so big yesterday with big fluffy clouds, so I thought maybe she was transforming one into the shape of a baby. 

I sensitively said, "O really..."  She yells, "Yep, there she is!  Do you see her?"  I stared to feel a welling my my gut that made me ponder on how much I really would love to see her, but I said honestly back to her, "no baby, I don't see her."  She asked me several times as if she was right in front of us, but I continued to tell her no, I couldn't see.  I said, "well, what is she doing,"  to allow her to entertain the moment.  There was no convincing her that her sister wasn't in the sky, nor would I attempt to try.  She stopped and paused as if to look really closely and stated with a giggle, "She just hugged Jesus!"  The tears filled my eyes as I realized that Ilana would never make up such a thing, I believed she was seeing just as she said. 

My believing heart caused me to have her tell her baby sister that mommy loved her.  She said yelling loudly above, "WE LOVE YOU!"  Her eyes never left the sky as if she was watching a movie....and then a few short moments later she flew back in her seat, eyes wide to the sky and laughed while saying...."She said she loves me too!"  Several times afterwards she said, "my baby sister is with Jesus," and I said, "She sure is baby, she sure is!"

It was a special moment and as I looked back in the rear view mirror to catch glances of her marvel, I realized that children are a joy from the Lord.  Ilana saw something yesterday that I may never get to see...she brought me such joy.  The separation from my children is so hard for me to daily bear, but to watch Ilana live life gives me such blessings while I'm here.